goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have aggressive nipples.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My vagina is very pro this idea
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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