You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Barsexuality is the new black.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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