i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
