you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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