Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
