The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
