3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize