If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
