I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
