You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
