Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
