come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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