He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize