I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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