she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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