I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
