im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think people are normalizing furries
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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