i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
