The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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