Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
