my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
