Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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