you guys were way drunker than both of me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
