I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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