Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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