Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize