Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
