i jhust puked up my retainher.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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