I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize