i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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