Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Green mimosas i think yes
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
