I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
