i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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