Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
