If i come over, it means nothing
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
