some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
