i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
