nut hugger
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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