we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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