Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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