thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
