everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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