I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Soap is not a condiment
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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