Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
