sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
