apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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