matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
