Where is the hickey?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
