Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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