i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
