my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
