Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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