Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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