Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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