I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
