Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
