wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I AM VODKA MAN
be right there i have to get my cape
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
