It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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