Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
