Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
