my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
