god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize