I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
