yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize