the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
