Don't make out with my wife yet
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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