No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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