Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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